Forrestall Consulting
"Finding the HUMANity in Social Media & Marketing"
Shanna Forrestall.jpg


A series of blogs by  Shanna Forrestall of Forrestall Consulting.  #sms4u #dontbeamonkey

What Does it Mean to be Sexy?

What does it mean to be sexy? Today advertising uses "sex" to sell everything from toothpaste to veggie burgers, and we're inundated with advertising meant to titillate, and yet, it's still taboo for a woman to breastfeed or show her nipples in public. It's a strange paradox.

sex·y /ˈseksē/


  1. sexually attractive or exciting.

    synonyms:sexually attractive, seductive, desirable, alluring, inviting, sensual, sultry, slinky, provocative, tempting, tantalizing; More

    • sexually aroused.

      "neither of them was feeling sexy"

      synonyms:aroused, sexually excited, amorous, lustful, passionate; More

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be "sexy" - who gets to determine if I am, me... or you?

As we age we attempt to hold onto our sexuality- it can be difficult as our body changes, ages, sags and/or expands, and yet anyone "in the know" will tell you that sexy is actually a mentality - it actually happens in the mind, right? You need to feel sexy... the sexiest people I know love and appreciate themselves in spite of their flaws.

But, what if I don't want to be sexy? And what if YOU think I am? I was just five years old when a male much older than me decided I was "sexy". I was a child... beautiful and innocent... and yet HE decided what I was to him and how he would utilize that to fulfill his own sick fantasies.

It's taken me years of focused work to begin to undo what happened in that dark room, and to realize that I can choose to be/feel sexy when I want, but how/what you feel about me should not be my problem.

I've been made to feel like my femininity is a weakness, that my beautiful body is so powerful that I have to "contain it" so men can be OK. But honestly, I'm over it.

Our society's inability to view women as nothing more than a sexual object to be used at his leisure is dated and despicable. Molestation, rape and spousal abuse are all fueled by this mentality that we "belong" to someone just because we're beautiful.

This photo shoot in the desert with photographer Marc Pagani was an exploration into me finding my full power as a female. For the record, I wasn't trying to be sexy. Actually, the opposite. I was hoping you'd see something more.

So, if you're struggling to view women as humans, please... let the stars keep you from spinning out of control, but please, as you’re moving forward in life, let’s find a way to look at women a little differently.

And remember, if I choose to be sexy, it's fine. If you choose to view me as sexy, it's fine. But what you do with your thoughts and actions ... well, that's your responsibility, not mine.

#freethenipple #fempower #shannanigans #nomoremisogyny


Shanna Forrestall _ Mark Pagani